Getting Real on Motherhood
I had the chance to be featured on the Smash + Tess Blog, one of my favourite Canadian brands I have been honoured to work with over the past year. We sat down and I got to answer some really tough questions about motherhood, allowing me a safe space to feel welcome. We got real VERY quickly so grab your coffee and I hope you enjoy and relate to some of these discussions.
If you want to see the full blog on their site you can find it HERE!
YOU HAVE TWO ADORABLE KIDS UNDER THE AGE OF 5. WHAT HAS MOTHERHOOD TAUGHT YOU ABOUT YOURSELF SO FAR?
Motherhood has taught me a few things. What comes to mind first is that moms are just winging it, and I need to give myself grace when I feel like I don’t know what I am doing. Having two kids under a year and a half apart, you would think I had the blueprint semi-figured out, however, every child is very different and what works for one kid can be the opposite for the other.
Motherhood has also taught me that it’s ok to fail. Over the last few years, I have experimented with different creative avenues within my business. Juggling working, starting my own business, and raising kids occupies a lot of time. I want to encourage my kids to take those risks. I want my kids to try different things and not be scared of failure, so you better believe I am taking my own advice.
Finally, it has taught me to embrace the unplanned. I LOVE plans, being organized, and having a routine; however, having kids taught me sometimes the best plan is none at all. Going with the flow truly can lead to unexpected adventures. Oh, and the chance one kid will be sick and we need to pivot is high these days.
CAN YOU SHARE A MOMENT WHEN YOU FELT PARTICULARLY PROUD OR EMPOWERED AS A MOTHER?
Every day you bet I am proud! I am proud of the kind souls my children are becoming and proud of myself for going through some of the initial struggles. I had postpartum depression and anxiety after my firstborn. Finding out I was pregnant only six months postpartum was terrifying. Speaking openly and asking for help when I needed it is something not easy but looking back I am so proud I did. I want all mothers and parents to know they aren’t failures if they need help, in fact, they should celebrate because asking for help isn’t always easy.
WITH THE RISE OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND SOCIETAL PRESSURES AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH, ANY ADVICE FOR MOMS RAISING A DAUGHTER IN THIS DAY AND AGE?
It’s important to acknowledge there are societal pressures on and offline. I want my daughter to be confident in her decisions but also know she can always come to me. I truly believe having open communication and encouraging my daughter to be herself goes a long way. I don’t want her to feel pressured to look a certain way or enjoy certain activities. Giving her the choice and freedom to be herself is truly powerful at a young age. Letting her select her mismatched outfits and empowering her to make those choices. You should see the smile on her face when she wears her butterfly leggings with a clashing cat sweater, it is truly contagious!
HOW DO YOU PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE AND BALANCE THE DEMANDS OF MOTHERHOOD?
There is so much chatter around what self-care means, it can be overwhelming. I really need to step back and think, what does self-care look like for ME?
Sure, it would be fantastic if I can meal prep, sleep longer, exercise, wake up before the kids, drink a full Stanley of water, have alone time, have girls' nights, walk more, …etc. That would all be FANTASTIC but very unrealistic to do it all, especially as a mother with young kids. This is why taking a moment to really think what’s worth prioritizing is a meaningful first step.
Self-care can be different things at different times. The power of saying no and investing in myself are the ones I am prioritizing in 2023. I can’t go to every social event, take on extra workloads, or be everything to everyone. The power of saying no and not feeling like I am letting someone down is a form of self-care I want to prioritize.
WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING YOUR MOTHERHOOD EXPERIENCES WITH YOUR FOLLOWERS, HOW DO YOU BALANCE YOUR DESIRE TO BE OPEN WITH YOUR NEED FOR PRIVACY AND BOUNDARIES?
I think it’s extremely important to have boundaries on what is and isn’t shared online. I cringe when I hear the saying “social media is a highlight reel,” but the truth is, it’s OK to want to keep some things private, for the respect of yourself and your family. If my kids are going through a hard day or are having a tantrum, it’s not in me to pick up my phone to share. Maybe I’ll share about it after the situation has diluted and the kids are asleep, or maybe not. Both are OK!
Photographer credit: @meaganboileauphoto
